Is grief counseling for you? - Signs to check for
Are you currently grieving a loss? Does it come in between your day-to-day activities and leave you vulnerable? Grief is an unpleasant but inevitable feeling. All of us go through grief at least once in our life. What causes them as well as how we react to them are different from each other. While some process the grief and get over the effect fast, some may get lost in all that overwhelming emotions. Grief counseling can be an effective hand at guiding those who seem to be lost in grief. Is grief counseling necessary for you? How do I know if I need grief counseling?
Check if you have these signs. If you do, it may be wise to reach out to a grief counselor.
You recently suffered a significant loss
You don’t always need grief counseling to deal with grief. However, it almost always makes the journey easier. Grief counseling helps you understand the overwhelming emotions that may take over your life. As soon as you feel the impact of these emotions, you can reach out for professional help. You don’t have to wait until the pain consumes you.
Losses are not limited to one type. For example, you could be grieving for your pet’s death, divorce, the death of a loved one, falling apart from your family, failing an exam, losing a job, or even failing an exam that your future rested on. None of these grievances can be compared. Each affects us in different but significant ways.
Grief counseling for feeling lonely
The loss of a loved one can leave you lost and lonely. No matter the support and love you have from everyone else, you will still miss that one person and their existence in your life. This is normal. However, being stuck in this situation for too long can lead to depression and other issues.
If you feel like the others are not grieving as much and are not as lost as you are, you may be reluctant to put your emotions out. In this situation, a grief counselor can help you understand how to navigate through this difficult time and the overwhelming feelings. It is wise to seek help at this point because your behavior affects the rest of your loved ones as well.
You don’t know who you are anymore – grief counseling for identity
Did the deceased person take your identity with them? Do you not understand how to be yourself anymore?
This is a common issue that you will have to face if you lose someone that has been a part of your life for most of it. If they took care of many things and took many pressures off your shoulder. You may not know how to live without them. For example, if you took care of the children’s necessities while your partner took care of the house and vehicles. In this situation, you can talk to a counselor about the helplessness you feel and be guided on how to manage those emotions. Grieving is a process. Not everything will bounce back to normal overnight and will require effort. However, being at it eventually will bring on the expected results.
Feeling like you moved on too well
While others grieve terrible losses you may have fast-tracked your life and moved on like nothing ever happened. In other words, you haven’t let emotions into the process. This is a temporary and terrible idea since these emotions that are not dealt with are likely to hit you when you least expect it.
You will start grieving for a loss you never grieved for. You may not know that you are doing this to yourself. One sign is that you constantly tell yourself that you are fine. You are okay. As a matter of fact, you won’t let yourself cry or break down. You may experience others questioning you if you are okay because they have noticed that you are not grieving. Also, you will try your best to stay away from any and everything that reminds you of the person you lost/ the loss.
In other words, you are either in denial or shock. Or just trying to avoid the wave of sadness from consuming you. If you are worried about how it will affect you when you finally let the emotions in, meet a grief counselor to be by your side while you process this difficult time. You must grieve to move on. There is no easy way out.
When day-to-day work is interrupted by grief
Do you find it hard to clean the garden or work in the office without having a breakdown or zoning out? It is normal to be a little confused and too sad to function during grieving. However, your life goes on, and your contribution is as necessary as it was before. After a while, if the pain and breaking down last to a point it meddles with important work, it is best to get help from a counselor.
Developing signs of depression
Depression is one of the stages of grieving. This is when you keep to yourself and go through the pain alone. However, after the depression stage, you slowly start getting the handle of your emotions and proceed to slowly move on. The problem is if you are stuck in the depressive zone and are not making any progress. Grief can easily make you depressed. Some of the depressive signs during grieving are,
- feeling guilty, angry, revengeful, worthless. Basically, being mad at yourself than focusing on the grief.
- grief makes you feel better around other people. Depression just makes you want to isolate yourself.
- you long for the deceased person.
- unlike while grieving and being vulnerable to emotions, depression makes you numb.
- wanting to die because you long to rekindle with the deceased person is grief. Wanting to die because you feel worthless is depression.
In general, after a while of mourning, if you’re still wanting to kill yourself or like to isolate yourself, there is a good chance that you’re depressed. It is vital you seek professional help before things affect you extremely badly.
Outbursts of rage
Bottled-up feelings of revenge, regret, or guilt could have you hating on everyone else. The smallest things that everyone does around you will piss you off. You may have no patience or control over yourself, and you may find that these emotions burst out without you really wanting them to. This is a sign that you are dealing with emotions that you have never talked about to anyone. This situation is common if your last conversation with the loved one you lost is an argument, or if their death is caused due to something that indirectly involves you. In other circumstances, it can be due to having to separate when you find your spouse cheating. Rage has no limit or a limited cause. When you find yourself causing pain and fear to the ones you love, while experiencing a loss, you should seek grief counseling.
Except for these, look out for the below symptoms. These are common occurrences in the normal process of grieving. They should pass with time. However, if they don’t, you should consider grief counseling.
- unstoppable crying
- significant weight loss or weight gain
- having trouble focusing
- insomnia issues
There is no right or wrong time to seek grief counseling. However, seeking it faster avoids damage getting worse and you will have the chance to healthily guide your emotions from the first stage. This does not mean, the sooner you seek counseling the faster you will get over the loss. Grieving is a process everyone must go through at their own pace. Dealing and overcoming emotions one at a time. Grief counseling provides you the guidance to get through this process healthily.